Wow, for being someone who enjoys writing…..I can’t believe it has been a year. I had hoped to write after I got back from Bali and share my experiences, then share how after 35 years I am picking up my violin and teaching myself how to play again, share my adjustment to releasing my son off to college, etc.
Instead, I have found this year to be a time for stepping back and finding ways to heal myself. I have some very insightful women in our Eka Groups and a few of them commented on the fact that after so many years of trying to heal from significant gut issues, that I have not been able to do so. They suggested that I needed to explore behavior and thought patterns.
I was warned that after a month in yoga retreat, the re-entry would be a bit of a challenge. As someone who has traveled in underdeveloped countries, I figured re-entry wasn’t going to be a problem. I was not getting what they meant. They were so right.
I just could not re-engage in my type-A business owner, mentality. I was scared to go back to that place after finding a mental state, like back in my 20s. A feeling of freedom, energy, everything possible, grounded happiness. I didn’t know how I was going to maintain this wonderful state and get back into running a business.
As a result, I stepped back significantly. I did what I had to do to maintain the business but did not focus on growth. As a result, I am 80% better in terms of my mental and physical health. I am ready to jump back in a more balanced way. I understand there are ebbs and flows, and nothing is a constant state of balanced living, it is constantly shifting. The more I can accept that, that some weeks it will be crazy busy and some weeks I can step back, versus always pushing it full throttle. That it is okay to let it be that way, the more I can try to maintain some of what I learned and practiced in Bali, to let me 20s more relaxed personality come out!
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